[English] 1. A question of style in text responses (Jenny Gilbert) RE: english Digest, Vol 34, Issue 4

scottlangan scottlangan at girton.vic.edu.au
Thu Mar 5 13:39:45 EST 2009


Hi Jenny,

I too have been pondering this question of style.  Like you, I have always discouraged any kind of inclusive language/voice in the Reading and Responding Text Response Essay.  Yet, at the Meet the Assessors session in Bendigo last week, 'We' was used in the verbal examples given on every occasion.

Personally, I find the royal 'we' and the second person 'you' the weakest writing style/voice - it is including and making assumptions about the writers audience (and assessors) that is unknowable and insupportable; which surely weakens any analysis rather than strengthens it?  For an example, I will add my comments to your own example -

Throughout the text (Inheritance) we [Who? All students?] are invited by Rayson to consider the not so pleasant aspects of our history [Whose? All Australians? Victorians? Whites?] through characters such as Nugget.

Or, when a students writes that "You can appreciate that Rayson positions her audience..."  surely they mean "I", so why use "you" and the statement form of this same sentence "Rayson positions her audience..." is more concise and conveys the same idea.  Thus, this is the better sentence, demonstrating that the student has better control over language and written expression.  Surely it will be graded higher than the first or second person style of essay?  It is still their fresh, personal, unique interpretation - writing in third person does not detract from 'hearing' such a voice.  The author of the essay's voice is implied in every sentence as it is they that choose and shape language to communicate their response to the topic.  Why belabour this by say either "I believe..." or "We understand..."  "You can acknowledge..." etc. in each and every sentence?

Cheers,

Scott Langan
Head of English
Girton Grammar

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Today's Topics:

   1. A question of style in text responses (Jenny Gilbert)
   2. Reader's Cup & Premier's Reading Challenge (stephen at melbpc.org.au)


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Message: 1
Date: Wed, 4 Mar 2009 17:47:28 +1100
From: Jenny Gilbert <nenifoofer at gmail.com>
Subject: [English] A question of style in text responses
To: english at edulists.com.au
Message-ID:
        <15e2e8700903032247t5bb100acgbafd1e41eff5d6 at mail.gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="windows-1252"

I am looking for some feedback or discussion on the issue of using 'we' and
'our' in analytical text responses. The reason I am asking is that I come
from that background where you respond strictly in the third person, never
making I statements, never using 'you' and I would not be refering to 'we'
or 'our' either. However I have noticed in some publications there are
sample essays that do use the 'we' and 'our' reference in the discussion
when referencing how the audience responds to or is challenged by the text.

Now some say that is just inappropriate for an essay that should be entirely
in the third person voice. Others argue the 'we' or 'our' is being used to
invite the reader (in this case the marker of the text response) into the
discussion as a member of the audience of the text being discussed - or so
it seems and it is a legitimate and recognised persuasive device where the
writer is establishing support for a contention in response to a prompt it
is reasonable.

I would like to quote some exact examples but the books are at work - I am
at home - off the top of my head a what I am talking about looks something
like this:

Throughout the text (Inheritance) we are invited by Rayson to consider the
not so pleasant aspects of our history through characters such as Nugget.

vs

Throughout the text (Inheritance) audiences are invited by Rayson to
consider the not so pleasant aspects of Australian history through
characters such as Nugget.


I find this personalises the response and I personally don't wish to
encourage students to write like this. It is hard though when some of those
publications they reach for do use this kind of language.

So...the question..is such a use of language acceptable or to be
discouraged? And if I am to stronly discourage it what arguments do I put
forth to do so?





--
Jen Gilbert English Teacher
Aka ?nenifoofer?

http://nenifoofer.edublogs.org/
http://msgsresources.wikispaces.com/
http://msgresource.ning.com/
twitter: nenifoofer
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Message: 2
Date: Wed, 4 Mar 2009 12:27:09 GMT
From: stephen at melbpc.org.au
Subject: [English] Reader's Cup & Premier's Reading Challenge
To: english at edulists.com.au
Cc: way.judith.j at edumail.vic.gov.au, gillies.dawn.d at edumail.vic.gov.au
Message-ID: <20090304122709.C8C5B95A at eagle.melbpc.org.au>

Sharon writes,

> We are interested in running the Readers Cup but cannot attend this
> meeting.  Would you be willing to send any literature you have from
> the session?  Sharon Gardiner  Marist-Sion College Warragul 3820


As Sharon knows, i have forwarded her and other's requests to Judith
& the School Library Association of Victoria www.slav.schools.net.au


Have included with Judith's email (below)  an email from Dawn today
(Oz-Teacher-Librarian mail-list) re the Premier's Reading Challenge:


> All our year 7, 8 and 9 students are registered. I attend classes
> when students are in computer rooms promoting the Premier's Reading
> Challenge.  They are directed to the Challenge web page. There is a
> link on our student home page. They read and navigate around the web
> page, then log on and add books they have read.
>
> Our Library begins the year with a challenge book display. A folder
> with challenge books, log in names and passwords are also on the
> display. The first 20 students to complete the challenge are given
> a free book at assembly. A bar graph is displayed in the library
> with number of students in each year level completed on display.
> This year students who complete the challenge will also get house
> points. Hope this helps.  Dawn  English/Library teacher


Maybe other's have suggestions, experiences or pd etc to share also?


> From:   "Way, Judith J" <way.judith.j at edumail.vic.gov.au>
> To:   <oztl_net at listserv.csu.edu.au>
> Date:   Mon, 2 Mar 2009 11:22:18 +1100
>
> Subject:   Readers Cup - Victorian schools only
>
> Hi all,
>
> If anyone out there is interested in holding a Readers Cup this year,
> but not sure what to do, you are warmly invited to:
>
> SLAV NORTHERN METROPOLITAN BRANCH MEETING
>
> Our term 1 meeting for 2009 will focus on 'How to run a Readers' Cup'
> in preparation for the State Finals in November.
>
> WHEN:                THURSDAY 19TH MARCH 2009 @ 4.00PM
>
> WHERE:         PRESTON GIRLS SECONDARY COLLEGE (LIBRARY)
>              COOMA STREET, PRESTON 3072.  PHONE: 9470-2755
>
--

Cheers people
Stephen Loosley
Member, Victorian
Institute of Teaching


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